Amy Zachary LCSW, MA
individual,couples and family therapy
Welcome to My Website
"The deep places of our lives-places of resistance and embrace- are not reached by definition as much as by stories." Walter Brueggemann
Here are some thoughts I have about the practice of psychotherapy and about Life. I hope they will give you a better idea of who I am and how I work.
-Psychotherapy is not a science, but an Art
-If the chemistry is not there between you and your therapist, you should rethink your options
-Be wary of advice
-No one, not even the most seasoned therapist, counsel or coach has all the answers and a good therapist will attest to that
-A therapist cannot change your partner
-Change occurs only when we begin thinking about and working on ourselves, rather than staying focused on and reactive to the other.
-A therapist cannot change you
-A therapist can only invite change or introduce change into a person's life
-Therapy is a collaboration between therapist and client
-Therapist and client generate new meaning, possibility and solution together
- Therapy should offer hope
-Good therapy is transformational. The client becomes "unstuck" and is able to expand their perspective and incorporate new ways of viewing their world
-The therapist invites the client to move from a static description of a problem to one of multiple descriptions, thus enhancing understanding and empathy. It's not "either/or", but "both/and".
-Therapy is not judgmental
-Therapy is emphatic and healing
-A good therapist is transparent with their ideas and biases keeping them open to question and change
-The client sets the agenda, not the therapist.
-A good therapist never assumes or fills in the blanks too quickly
-Good therapy is flexible. It explores the "known" in a way that allows for doors to be created where once were walls
-During therapy, one may suffer to get "well"
-Life is complicated
-Life is hard and often not fair
-Life does not work in a straight line
-In life, no one gets a free ride
-We all face moments of darkness and uncertainty
-We should not fear our dark moments as they lay the groundwork for growth and transformation
-Everyone struggles with darkness at some point in their life
Some of us have a more difficult time soothing or comforting ourselves and this makes life more difficult
-Some of us are more sensitive or finely turned to Life's assaults and bruise more easily
-Regarding relationships,nothing new can happen without apology and forgiveness
-As the Franciscan priest Richard Rohr has said, " Life has taught me that forgiveness is the only way to free ourselves from the entrapment of the past."
-There can be no learning without humility
-Wisdom embraces paradox and contradiction
-Envy makes for a miserable life
-Be curious rather than critical
-Life tends to be more meaningful when we anchor ourselves to something bigger than ourselves
-If angry, put that anger in the service of something you believe in
-In Life," knowing" is "unknowing." That is enlightenment
-In Life, you cannot heal what you cannot or will not acknowledge
-Happiness is a bonus from good deeds and kindness
-Perhaps Thomas Merton, the Trappist monk, said it best when he wrote, "The way one begins to make sense out of life is to taking upon one's self the lostness of everyone."
-Our freedom requires us to make choices based on the needs of the present, not the past.
I have both a MA in Clinical Psychology, from the New School for Social Research in New York City, and am a New York State Licensed Clinical Social Worker, obtaining my MSW degree from Columbia University.
I completed my post-graduate studies in Family and Couples Therapy at the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy in New York City.
I was the Clinical Director at The Freedom Institute in New York City, as well as Senior Family Therapist at Greenwich House also in New York. City,
I was a grief and trauma consultant for New York City Firefighters and Police Officers as well as for employees at several major financial institutions, including Morgan Stanley, Citibank, and Credit Suisse, who were affected by the 9/11 attacks.
I founded the Bereavement Group and was its facilitator for seven years for Stony Brook Southampton Hospital in Southampton, New York.
In addition to my private practice, I am currently providing counseling to cancer patients and their families for Fighting Chance in Sag Harbor, New York.
My areas of specialty include:
-Mood Disorders (anxiety and depression)
-Addiction (alcohol and drugs)
-Marriage and Relationships